


I Still Love You

by Daisyith



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Drunk Calling, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 20:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10647342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyith/pseuds/Daisyith
Summary: With the courage of a few drinks, Lewis calls Nico in the middle of the night....





	I Still Love You

With trembling fingers, Lewis took the phone into his hands. He could feel the four walls begin to swirl into a blur of colour, a dizziness washing over him. At the back of his mind, he knew this was a bad idea. But it had been so long since he’d heard the soft tones of the German and so long since he’d seen the blonde hair or teasing smirk. He missed Nico.

Last year, they’d thrown everything away - years of youthful friendship, late nights beneath the bedsheets and even the chance of getting along as teammates. They turned a friendship into hatred, just fighting for the title. Whispered words had turned into hurtful insults, spat into the late hours of the night. Gentle caresses became harsh pushes, keeping the other afar. Meaningful kisses disappeared, replaced instead by cold, hard stares and looks of hatred across the garage. It killed Lewis to think about what they had become. But despite it all, Lewis couldn’t help but miss Nico Rosberg.

Lewis desperately longed to have the German opposite in the garage. He wished they could have one more race together, fighting side-by-side on track. Hell, he’d even settle for another press conference, enduring the endless questions together. 

He wanted to go back to a time when they weren’t racing for the same team, when they were still friends. But those days were long gone.

Nico’s retirement had been a shock, crushing Lewis. It had taken time but slowly, Lewis had come to terms with Nico’s decision. He had even hoped that when Nico wasn’t racing, things would change between them. But Nico had been so busy with his new life, his family and responsibilities, that Lewis had heard very little.

And so, with empty bottles lining the floor and an unusual confidence coursing through his body, Lewis decided that would change. After a few fumbled touches, he dialled a number he still knew by heart.

“Lewis.” Nico whispered after a moment, sounding weary. His accent still sounded melodic to Lewis’ ears, still remained the fuel to his late night fantasies, “What do you want?”

“Nico.” Lewis answered in greeting.

There was a sigh and Lewis imagined Nico running his fingers through his hair, a habit born out of frustration. He could almost see the messy strands sticking upright in every direction, “Are you drunk Lewis?” Nico asked, sounding tired. It was only then that Lewis remembered how the night was dark outside. It was late and he’d probably woken Nico up. _Shit._

“No I’m not…” Lewis lied, speaking slowly as though every word was a struggle.

“Right....” Nico said, sounding unconvinced, “If you’re not drunk, why are you calling in the middle of the night?” 

Lewis paused. He really didn’t think this through. He opened his mouth, “I wanted to talk to you?” Lewis offered.

“And it couldn’t wait until morning? I have to be up early, I’ve got things to do.” 

Lewis shook his head before realising Nico couldn’t see, “No. I needed to hear your voice…” He murmured.

“Hang on.” Nico whispered. Lewis heard the sound of rustling as Nico crept quietly out of bed and the soft click of the door behind him, “Right I’m here.”

Lewis smiled, “How have you been?”

“Lewis…” Nico murmured, “You didn’t ring me in the middle of the night for small talk, did you?”

“No.” Lewis confessed, “I miss you, I want you back.”

Nico sighed sadly, “In Formula 1? You know I retired for a reason Lewis” 

“I mean how we used to be…” 

“Lewis… You know it’s not that simple, I have a wife and a child now. Things have changed.” Nico explained.

Lewis took a deep breath, “They don’t have to change between us, we can be us again Nico.”

“It’s too late Lewis. We threw that all away and we can’t go back.” Lewis could hear the sadness in Nico’s voice, hear the unshed tears in his eyes. Deep down, he knew this would be how the conversation would end. He knew things between himself and Nico were irreconcilable, that Nico had moved onto a life away from racing, away from Lewis. But he had to at least try, he would have hated himself for not trying. 

Lewis pressed his hands against the hollows of his eyes as he drew his knees to his chest, “Can we at least be friends?” He asked, knowing he sounded a bit pathetic as bubbles of emotion spilled from his eyes. But he couldn't lose Nico, not again.... 

Nico sighed, “Yes we can still be friends.” There was a moment of silence, neither man quite sure of what to say next. “Look Lewis, I’m in Russia at the end of the month, why don’t we get a coffee or something?” He suggested.

“That would be great Nico.” Lewis said before the pair fell into a silence again. Just as Lewis was ready to end the call, he couldn’t help the words that fell from his mouth, “I still love you Nico.” It was true, Lewis had lost a piece of his heart to the German when they became more than friends in their first season together. It was a piece that meant even after everything they’d been through, even after girlfriends and one-night stands, he couldn’t stop thinking about those brilliant blue eyes or that sandy blonde hair. And he knew, if he was sober, there was no way he’d be confessing his feelings to Nico.

The voice that replied was so quiet, Lewis wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it or not, “I still love you too.” But before Lewis could ask, the line went silent. 

Lewis’ fingers curled around the bottle in front of him, the glass cool and sticky with condensation. He lifted it to his lips, the amber liquid coating his mouth in a sharp taste. It warmed his throat and his chest as he swallowed. But Lewis didn’t care, it was the perfect distraction from everything. As he drank, he started to ease the ache in his chest and he began to forgive himself for everything that he’d thrown away. He knew things with Nico would never be the same again but maybe, just maybe they could keep a friendship between them. He’d always love Nico, first loves last forever after all, but maybe he could begin to move on….


End file.
